Unhelpful comments to someone with an Eating Disorder

• "You've gained so much weight, you look so much healthier" 
  The most common and most hurtful comment. Although this is usually intended to be a compliment, it's usually twisted into the complete opposite. This comment only fuels the voice criticizing the sufferer for gaining weight and draws attention directly to the individuals body image.
  
  
• "Wow, you're so disciplined, i wish i had that kind of self control" or "I wish i could lose weight like you"
  This isn't a matter of self control. The sufferer feels they have no other choice other than to obey the rules of their eating disorder.
  
  
• "Have you finished your food/meal already?"
  Although this may just be a simple question, the sufferer can interpret this as you thinking they're greedy, a pig, that they must not have an eating disorder since they're eating at a faster pace, that they have no self control, ect.
  
  
• "You've lost so much weight!"
  This statement fuels any eating disorder and the dangerous behaviours behind the change in weight. Some sufferers may interpret this as a lie and fuel them to lose even more weight.
  
  
• "That type of food is really unhealthy"
  It doesn't matter if you're recovering from anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS or binge eating disorder. The goal is to eat all foods in moderation. This statement just reaffirms the belief of certain foods being "bad" for you and why they should be avoided.
  
  
• "Just eat" or "Just eat normally" or "Why don’t you just stop throwing up?" or "Why don't you just keep it down?" or "You just need a little self-control. Just don’t binge, it’s simple"
  If it was as simple as just eating normally, no one would have an eating disorder.
  
  
• "You're not skinny enough to have an eating disorder" or "You don't look like you have an eating disorder"
  A person's weight is merely a symptom of their eating disorder. These are mental illnesses which come in many forms and although Anorexia is the most reported and known eating disorder, it only makes up 3% of sufferers in Australia, while 47% makes up Binge Eating Disorder.
  
  
• "Don't you know the kind of damage you're doing to your body?"
  Yes, almost everyone with an eating disorder can see the damage they're doing to themselves however, as time goes on, the eating disorder part of the brain gets stronger, and the negative impacts of the disease are not enough to completely give it up.
  
  
• "You know laxatives don't make you lose weight right?"
  Logically, sufferers who abuse laxatives know they don't do anything besides drain your body of important electrolytes but there's more behind the abuse than weight loss. It could be a form of self harm, a way of feeling like you're purging your body of everything inside or a way of making the number on the scale go down slightly through dehydration. It varies for each person.
  
  
• "You're not sick though because you're medically stable and not extremely thin" or "You seem healthy enough"
  This will differ from person to person but just because someone is medically stable doesn't mean they're not sick. Eating disorders are a mental illness with physical symptoms and consequences. A persons weight doesn't determine the state of their mental health.
  
  
• "At least this is in your control, so you can change it"
  If it was as simple as flicking a switch, everyone with an eating disorder would be cured almost instantaneously. It varies with each individual however it takes a team of professionals and alot of internal strength  and will to change behaviours and thoughts that have been ingrained over a long period of time.
  
  
• "Oh my god, are you still hungry?"
  During recovery and/or re-feeding, hunger cues are all over the place and in most cases, extreme hunger occurs. Many describe it as “I’m not hungry, but I’m hungry” and can eat up to double a normal intake in 24 hours. This is completely necessary to give your body back the nutrients it needs however, many people are unaware of this phenomenon and may question why you're eating so much or why you're hungry which can result in eating disorder fueled thoughts and dangerous, compensatory behaviours.
  
  
• “If you think you are fat, you must think that I’m obese”
  An individuals perception of their body doesn't translate onto the people they surround themselves with.
  
  
• "You're tearing this family apart" or "You know you're just hurting the people around you"
  Sufferers are acutely aware of the damage they're doing to the people around them. The more a person is blamed, the more guilt they will feel and the more they will despair the idea of recovery.
  
  
• "Why are you choosing to be like this?"
  No one chooses to have an eating disorder. It is extremely difficult to even think of changing ingrained patterns of behaviour, let alone actually going through the steps to recover.